Smoke from my Altar

I am now a business owner and I have the UBI # to prove it. Hard to believe it took me this long to figure it out. I hung out all summer looking for a legal job and couldn't find the perfect one. So I created it.
 
I do legal support of a clerical nature for attorneys and I already have a client. He's in Kirkland, within 5 minutes of my house. I set my own hours, so I'm never late for work.  My boys are in daycare/school within 5 miles of this client and my home. I get to deduct my mileage and business-related expenses. My house is cleaner, since I couldn't do business in a mess.
 
I'm the happiest I've been in a very long time. Eventually I'll have to drum up more clients, but tonight I'm just happy to be gainfully unemployed.

I went to the public library today to research a pressing family history question. The only open computer I saw was next to a man openly surfing porn. I understand this man's desire for a little girl-on-girl action in the middle of his Sunday, but I do not think openly public places where children stroll are acceptable places for porn. I thought that his behavior was prohibited, so I mentioned it to the reference desk attendant. He informed me that "only illegal behavior is not allowed in the library". Um, okay. But the library is frequented by families. It has no "adult only" aisle. I guess I just thought my kids were safe there. Silly me.

I asked the attendant where my 7-year-old could be expected to do his homework without seeing this man's behavior and he remarked that the children's section has computer's too. And their filters are strong so my son won't be shown anything objectionable. How nice for my son. Now what about me?  The children's section has child-size chairs and tables. Obviously I would be a fish out of water on a computer there.

I did the only think I could do; I left. I am now back on my home computer where downloading a census record takes ever so long. But my children are safe in bed and they're dreaming about Dora and Scooby Doo. I'm very irritated by this turn of events. And by the way, cell phones are completely banned in this same library. We wouldn't want anyone's conversation distracting us for our fantasies, would we?

I dropped by the UW today and inquired into my requirements for entering a B.A. program. They were unexpectedly encouraging. I have 70 definite credits and perhaps 5 more from LWTC and Calvin College combined. I really didn't think they'd take my Calvin credits since they were so old; LWTC has a 10 year max on credits. But the UW has no problem taking them, except for the Religious Studies class - it wasn't a Comparative Religions class so it doesn't count. 

I knew before my appointment that my technical credits wouldn't transfer, and they don't. But that's okay. I earned my certificate and I gained the knowledge so I haven't really lost anything. The UW said that I need 15 Science credits, since I haven't had any college Science yet. I also need some Visual/Performing Art classes. Ick. I am not artistic. I disliked drama club in high school, this is not going to be fun. But I can take 15 credits anywhere and transfer them in so I just need to decide where to go, ask the gov't for educational funds, and apply to that school. I'll do more research on it tomorrow.

Hopefully my next appointment won't be with my 3 year old along. He was loud, energetic and needy. I tried to find childcare but it didn't work out. Next time I'll reschedule until I can find a babysitter.

Tornadoes.

Yesterday I attended Eve's MBA Shower and had tea at the Fairmont Hotel. It was just as much fun as I thought it would be. Afterwards we returned to her house for wine and conversation. It was such a relief to be in a group of women who didn’t whine about the men doing them wrong or their kids potty-training issues. I need to hang out with positive people more often; it’s refreshing.

The boys spent the day at the family picnic with mom and dad. They had a great time, although mom left early when she tired of small talk and brought my youngest with her. They slept like rocks last night and woke up energized at 7 am. Church doesn’t begin until 10:30, but luckily it was the first day of Sunday School for the school year. So, I took them to church in time for 9:15 class to begin.

Unluckily, they are beginning a series on Creation from Genesis. I don’t have to ask the church to know that they take this version of creation literally. So did I, while I was being raised in the church, and only through the comments of a dear friend last year did I begin doing research. I hate that sinking feeling I get when I realize some stupid thing I’ve always believed isn’t true at all. And yet so much of my last 10 years have been a continuous cycle of unlearning. It’s like learning in reverse. I now know much less than I did in high school. I could have explained in deep detail Creation, the Flood, the Tower of Babel etc. Now my children are being taught what I was taught, and I’m a teacher in the class 1 week a month so I know the curriculum. 

Today wasn’t bad. We taught the kids that God created the Universe. I believe that, so I had no problem teaching it. I wonder if four weeks from now will be so easy. We shall see.

My six-year-old lost his second tooth last night, right after going to bed. It had been coming out for four days and was always on his mind. He was so excited about the tooth that he stayed awake for a long time, perhaps thinking he'd get to see the Tooth Fairy this time. But alas, she was so tired that she shut her mind off as soon as the kids layed down. Even having that darn tooth come out didn't thrill her. She forgot her given task. 

This morning I was awakened at 6:30 am to my son's quivering upper lip and his first whine of the day, "I didn't get any money!" Whoops, bad fairy. I assured him that the Tooth Fairy would surely come tonight. After all, last night was Sunday. She probably doesn't work on Sundays, just like Mommy. That made sense to him. He even told me that maybe staying awake scared her off, so tonight he would go to sleep right away and he did. The deed is done, at least until he loses his third tooth or my three-year-old loses his first. O happy day.

I did it. I graduated from college with my Associate's Degree and a certificate of completion from the Legal Support Professional program. I wore a gold cord for being Magna Cum Laude (my cumulative GPA is 3.86), and I wore a white cord for being an officer of the Associated Student Government (Vice President, and one month President). I was entitled to wear a gold stole and gold tassel for being Phi Theta Kappa, but I couldn't afford to order them so I didn't and that's okay. The program still listed my status.

I was surrounded by friends; Kathy who gave me a purple flower to wear, Susan who made the Student Speech, Jessica who sat on my left and Steph who sat on my right. My kids were sitting with their father and my sister. My parents were also in the audience and my Legal teacher came and took pictures of me. And yes, it was too hot in the Meydenbauer Center, and there were too many speeches that weren't that interesting (except for Susan's and the State Senator's). But the whole thing was meaningful and memorable.

One more thing, although it was funny that the man who led us in the Star-Spangled Banner had to read the sheet music, only about 1/5 of the men removed their hats/caps while singing. It's a shame that people aren't being taught many traditions anymore. Also, they didn't play "Pomp and Circumstance" and I thought they would. I guess I'm old school. Or I was, now I'm no-school. Lucky me.   :-)

So my Ex is in jail again. According to a friend he was arrested last Friday for driving with a suspended license. There's no mystery on how he lost his license. That happens in this state when you don't pay your child support. He missed Father's Day with his kids (our oldest cried) and he didn't call until today when he asked me to make some phone calls for him. He knows I won't bail him out, so he wants me to ask others for help.

So, anyone out there feel like driving four hours to Kennewick, paying $250 cash bail, driving him to the car impound, paying untold hundreds to get his car back, supplying a licensed adult to drive his car back, and then spending four more hours to get home? I didn't think so.

He may have to wait until July 9th (his expected release date) to see his boys again. This means missing the 4th of July with the boys. And if his time gets extended for any reason, then he'll miss his son's birthday on July 12th. What kind of fool throws away something priceless for money?

To everyone who owes child support: pay up! The child you save may be your own.

Got a migraine today that lasted for 8 hours. I was at church so I ignored it until I could get home. Besides the standard headache and vomiting that I always get, this time I had lots of visual disturbances. Flashing white lights, wavy objects that shouldn't be moving, bright lights out of nowhere, it was weird. I've never seen flashing lights during a migraine before, but this is probably only my fifth migraine ever. And all in the last maybe 2 years.

It wasn't so bad. The kids took a two hour nap, then mom picked them up so they weren't in my hair. The pain was tolerable, meaning that I could sleep through it and I didn't wish I could die. All in all, it was the best migraine I've ever had. Still I wish the timing was better. I don't mind sleeping for hours, but waking up at 8pm ready to start my day is kind of a drag.

 I was just finishing my morning shower when I heard a crash and my three-year-old shriek. Obviously he was hurt, so I quickly toweled off; but I wasn't too worried since I knew his father was with him. My son was still crying when I exited the bathroom; which is unusual for my little guy. He's so quick to shake off every owie after a kiss.
 

Had dinner at McCormick & Schmick's with a good friend and her fiancee. The dinner tasted great and we didn't have to wait for a table, even though the place looked pretty full. Our waiter was very personable and my companions enjoyed it as much as I did. It's only fair to mention that they were higher priced than I expected, and the portions were smaller too.  But my friends picked up the tab, so the cost didn't affect me. It was a mother's day gift, which I very much appreciated. 

The evening did start a little rough since my EX was supposed to be here at 6 to watch our kids, but he was still asleep when I called him at 6:05 to ask why he was late. Reliability has never been his strong suit but I sure hate being late when other people are depending on me. He showed around 6:35, was short with me, of course he didn't apologize for being late and when I left the house I was seething. It was good of my friends to talk some sense in to me so I could enjoy my dinner out. I do feel much better after the dinner I've had. I still wonder why he decided to sleep at 5pm, knowing he had to be at my house at 6pm, but I'm no longer seething. 
 

Who remembers this golden oldie?

It's a sunny day and I thank God for the weather,
It's a sunny day and I'm livin' it for my Lord,
It's a sunny day and things are gonna get better,
Livin' each day by the promises in God's word.

It popped into my head today when I saw the sunshine. Now it won't go away, but that's okay since I haven't heard it for years. I'm not into high temperatures, but I love the sunshine. Bring on the Spring.

Who's going to Radcon? I want to, but I don't want to brave the passes. I drive like I cook; either one is like to be the death of me. My boys want to go, but they don't get a vote. My ex wants me to go, but I think he's looking for bedspace. Not an attractive proposition. It would help if I knew who else was going. Anyone out there going to Radcon 2008?

 I was late to school today, as usual, so I missed the first day of my first class. I showed up when class was over to apologize to the teacher and get my syllabus. She advised me that when our class next met, on Thursday, I would need to have the four assignments from chapter 1 done. Naturally, I couldn't buy a book today without my financial aid check so tomorrow I will have to buy the book and do four assignments at home. I'm leaning toward dropping the class. It's not required for my degree, I just thought it might help me with my future job. But I'm not crazy about the teacher and it's my earliest class (9:00 am). I'll decided tomorrow.

The rest of my classes went well. Intro to Social and Human Services was fun. PowerPoint was easy. Access is tomorrow. If I drop Customer Service (today's missed class), I'll still have a full load and I'll have time to work on campus 19 hours a week and have a lunch hour. I think. 

Anyway, I'm too tired. I'll figure it out tomorrow.

 Saw Hitchcock's "Vertigo" yesterday for the first time. It was good, but I knew how I would end far in advance. Maybe because it's an older movie; perhaps because people have discussed it in my hearing?  I'm not sure exactly why I guessed the end, but it was more predictable than I expected from the rave reviews. Still, I love Jimmy Stewart movies; he alone makes movies worth watching. 

I also went to the Y and worked out. It seemed rather busy; which I'm guessing the crowds will end when everyone's "resolutions" fade away. I didn't make any resolutions this year. I just wanted some place to drop the kids while I watched TV in peace. I figured I could do that on a treadmill just fine, then I ran into Gracie and Claudia and spent my time weight training. Go figure.
 
Today I took the kids to Alderwood Mall's play area along with Gracie, her two-year-old son and eight-year-old daughter. Right away I was overwhelmed by the sounds, sights and smells of that many kids in that small of an area. Unless every parent there had four kids each, there was no way all those kids were being properly watched by their actual parent. One boy shoved my youngest more than once. My son stood there crying, not yet aggressive enough to push back. I intervened and looked around for pushy kid's mom. She was nowhere in sight. We changed areas and a few minutes later Mrs. Pushy Kid shows up, on her cell phone and not watching her son. His behavior immediately improved and later when he ran into my son again he kept his hands to himself. That was 10 minutes later and his mom was still on the phone, but as long as he behaved himself I didn't care.

Finally, we left the play area and dropped by the Disney store. I showed my two-year-old the moving Chip and Dale figures, he was so excited. Meanwhile, Gracie's son saw a "Lightning McQueen" he had to have and went ballistic when his mom said "no". My older son also asked for a toy, but he accepted my denial without argument-Good Boy! We left the store, dragging the vocal Max with us to tramp the mall, but I was not having fun. I was hot, stressed, tired and I desperately needed to get away from noise and people. I can't remember ever having such a negative reaction to crowds before. My friend stayed inside and looked around while I went outside and tried to unwind. 

The boys didn't want to play outside because it was cold and raining. But true to form they developed a game in a matter of seconds. First they played with an umbrella they found and then they became fascinated by the outdoor lights that were off until you covered the sensor, then they switched on. Off, on, off, on, that was a fun game. Gracie joined me with her kids after it became clear that I wasn't going back in to join her. Her daughter had graciously obtained a cap and frizbee for my oldest son; they were given out free, but I think she had to stand in line for them. We all left the mall and my youngest promptly fell asleep just three hours before his bedtime. Naturally, he was not sleepy when it became time for bed. I shall not be returning to Alderwood Mall anytime soon.  

Spent much of the day online playing catch-up. Also went through all of my clothes, even the stored ones. I'm going to make some local thrift store very happy. With the closet space I can now begin creating the "work wardrobe" I'm going to need spring quarter. I haven't had to buy clothes for work since 2002. I am not looking forward to it.

Didn't have to go to work today, like I previously thought. Apparently I didn't arrange childcare for my youngest until January 8th. Fine with me, I love being on vacation.

Spent the day reading Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. What a great book! I'm picking up the sequel as soon as I can get to Half Price Books. If you like Sci-Fi (and what sane person doesn't?) you have to read this book.

I also saw "The Nanny Diaries" tonight and liked it as well. I think it appeals to a female audience mostly, and you'll appreciate it more if you've been a nanny (as I have) but it's a view of Upper East Side New York life that you won't see otherwise. Having been a nanny, I can say that you get a full view of people when you live and work with them. When you live in the same house as family members you have love to help you cope with the inevitable drama. When you live with friends, you get to pick your roomies, you can leave if you want to and you mostly forgive faults just because of your friendship. None of the occurs when you're a nanny. I've been fortunate enough to work for people who love their kids and become full-time parents the minute they walk in the door, but I wouldn't want to do it again.

Had fun last night at the annual Jeff and Jen "Not So Wild" New Year's Party. I saw quite possibly the worst Vincent Price movie he ever made entitled, "Cry of the Banshee", and a slighty better Vincent Price film called "The Last Man on Earth". "I am Legend" is the new Will Smith movie remade from "The Last Man on Earth". I'm sure it's better than the original black and white production; it has to be, it can't get much worse. 

My last confession from 2007 is that I ate seven chocolate chip cookies at that party. In my defense just let me say that they were small cookies and that everyone else liked them just as much as I did. At least they would have if I had passed them around. As it was, keeping them by my side was a protective measure enacted out of need. I'm sure you understand. 

After the party I picked up my six year old from a friend's house, and my two-year-old from my parent's house, then I slept better than the recently viewed undead. My ex watched the boys in the morning until 10, then he napped while I parented. As soon as he woke up it was their turn for afternoon naps, so it was a quiet day of sleeping and relaxation for us all. 

Tomorrow it's back to school for the boys, back to work for me and another great year. Better than 2007?  Well,  I got divorced in 2007, it's hard to beat that for a rotten milestone. I had to deal with much unpleasantness from my son's school, resulting in him being changed to his current school (with its hardline approach to discipline). I spent months dealing wth financial woes when I didn't receive child support for 5 months. I had to attend school all summer, for the first time ever in my life, after I'd already planned to be home full-time with the boys. My oldest son permanently scarred his face in an childish mishap which I still feel upset over. All in all I think it's safe to think that 2008 will be a much better year.  Here's to it. :)

I love all the parties this month. 

December 5th was at the Olive Garden. My Legal class was there (minus Steph, naturally), celebrating the end of a long year of evening classes. We had such a good time laughing, the food was divine and I can finally say that I like white wine. Melissa brought her son, he was so cute and much quieter than many an adult in the place. I had a great time and I'm glad I went. 

December 6th was a work party in the afternoon and the Mothers and More holiday party in the evening. It's always nice to chat with co-workers, but I had to keep checking the desk for students needing assistance so the work party wasn't as much as it could have been. The evening was great, though. I got to meet many of the women I chat with online, we had a pleasant gift exchange where I got a book & DVD, and I even got to see Naked Guy. Apparently the man across the street really does walk around his house naked, with the blinds open, every year during the holiday party. I'm with the crowd who thinks he knows we're watching. I also agree with those that think he should lose some weight; but he still caused quite a stir, so good for him.

 December 8th was the birthday party for a 4-year-old named David. The boys had a great time, playing outside with six other kids and two adult males. The pizza was good, the cake was moist yada yada...there's not much to say, it was a standard kids birthday party. 

December 11th was my ex-husband's work party at a wonderful Chinese restaurant in Issaquah. His boss treated all of his employees and their guests to a 10 course dinner that really hit the spot. It included peking duck, which I'd never had before (it was good with the plum sauce, kinda so-so without). I will pass on Lychee nuts if I'm ever offered them again, but other than "dessert" it was pretty good.

December 12th, (today), we had pizza at my house for the Heaven sent friend who babysat my boys every Wednesday night for the last year. She unfailingly showed up on time, with energy for playing games, reading stories, even cooking dinner and never asked to be paid. I couldn't have earned my Certificate of Completion without her. She is also a true best-friend. Discussing everything on my mind with empathy and insight. I would be lost without her.

December 15th I'll be attending a Wine and Dessert party at a friend's house. I won't know anyone there but the hostess and I don't know anything about wine, but I'm dying to see her again after a year's absence and it could be fun to meet some new people. 

December 17th will be the Special Delivery party. It's a gift exchange that's a lot of fun and the best part is that people who haven't shown up all year will be there. I've pretty much been absent all year since Monday nights I've been in school, but I'm hoping to reconnect with some of the single moms I really liked who used to go there.

December 22nd will be the Eagle's Club Christmas Party. I'm planning on taking the boys. I can't wait to see my two-year-old's reaction to Santa Claus. If he's scared I won't push it but it would be nice to get a picture of him on Santa's lap where he's not screaming.

December 24th will be my parent's Christmas Eve party for immediate family members only. It's my favorite party, always has been. 

December 25th I'll take the boys to my Uncle and Aunt's house. Other relatives will show up with food and hang out all day. 

December 31st  is a maybe party. I usually go to a friend's house, but I don't want it to be awkward this year so I might just stay home. 

Anyway, I'm feeling festive; work and school are over, the tree is up and the lights are working. It's been a very good year.

Tonight my son came home and informed me that he had missed both recesses today and that he has to miss two tomorrow. His misbehavior? Telling a friend about last night's dream. He dreamed that his friend shot another child with a gun. This conversation was overheard and it was reported to a teacher. So, my son had to speak to the principal, explain his dream and then miss out on both recesses. They told him that talking about violence at school is against the rules. Yet, I didn't know about that rule and neither did he. I attended the school orientation and I don't remember them saying, "By the way, don't discuss any violent dreams you may have. You children should be dreaming about smiles and rainbows."

This makes me really angry. My son is six years old. He didn't know that what he was doing was wrong, and he was in tears when he said "I'm sorry I was bad today". He also told me that his first grade teacher told him that he should go home tonight and pray that he'd be a good boy tomorrow. He attends a public school, so I found that statement shocking. 

I suppose they think it's the same as using the word "bomb" in an airport. Just the mention of the word "shoot" inside a school sends people into hysterics. But he's six, we don't watch the news in this house so he doesn't know about all the school shootings. I don't believe in punishing children when they don't know they're breaking a rule. Does four recesses seem as excessive to anyone else as it does to me? He wasn't even yelling or swearing, just talking. 

I intend to call the principal tomorrow and see if there is a reasonable explanation for this. Perhaps my son inflated the punishment, or misquoted the teacher. I know that he didn't get the cause of his punishment wrong, because the school sent a note home about his inappropriate behavior. I can only guess that they think I agree with them, but I do not.